F*** You Very Much – the Podcast!

23 May 18 

Ahead of the paperback release of F*** You Very Much on May 31st, please accept this series of podcasts with my compliments.

You don’t have to have read the book to get something out of them, but in the show, Marc Haynes and I attempt to dissect exactly why we’re all so bloody rude all of a sudden.

We’ve got guests. Callers. Emails. Science. And stories of ridiculous rudeness from our own lives.

Please do have a listen and subscribe if you like it… you can get it wherever you normally get your podcasts, or right here.

Hope you like it!

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Books and Vital Broadcasts

24 Jan 18 

Yes. Vital broadcasts! I’m back on Radio X on Sundays between 11am and 1pm, playing records and setting ground rules for your life which I expect to be obeyed at all times. Sort of. You can download the podcast on iTunes if you can’t catch it live…

F You Very Much is about to come out in the States, so if that’s what brought you here, welcome. Now leave a nice review and tell all your pals, okay?

The proper paperback edition comes out here in the UK in June, and I’m just letting you know nice and early – we’re changing the title. It was always supposed to be called F*** You Very Much (it’s about rudeness, see) but we felt that title might make it difficult for The One Show and so on to talk about it. Now, though? F*** the One Show. The book needs its proper title.

And now I must stop using bad language, because Hamish and the Baby Boom! comes out in March. It’s definitely the silliest and maybe the funniest of the series, although that is not for me to say, and yet I’m saying it anyway. I do hope you’ll consider a copy for your tiny sidekicks.

The podcast I promised last year is ready and waiting to go. Has been for a while. But we have to wait for the platform it’s on to launch properly. That was a weird sentence to write. Anyway, it’ll be with you soon…

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NEW BOOK! And all thanks to a hotdog…

05 May 17 

My brand new book is ready to go… and I owe it all to a hotdog.

A hotdog I never even got.

I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT is what I wrote immediately after I was thrown out of a diner for asking where my hotdog was. And I very much would like you to read it.

It’s a book about rudeness. And about the terrifying wave of it that I genuinely think could end up destroying our world.

In it, I try ‘Radical Honesty’ in Germany. I meet my own internet troll. I tell you about the terrorist who could not believe how rude other terrorists were (they kept using his phone charger without asking!). And I try and find out the truth about what happened with that bloody hotdog.

You can pre-order the book right this second – let’s DO this!

For together we must fight the New Rudeness!

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Two New Books and a Podcast

27 Feb 17 

I’ve been knuckling down of late, and this year will see two brand new books – one for grown-ups, and one for kids…

Hamish and the GravityBurp comes out on March the 9th and I’ll be visiting some schools and saying hello to new members of the PDF…

And coming soon – my brand new book for grown-ups.

Sign up the mailing list above, and I’ll send you a video explaining just how this one came about very soon… or head over to the Facebook page where I’ll be giving some copies away for free soon too… and telling you about my upcoming podcast series…

You can grab the new Hamish book here… I DARE YOU!

“Quirky, silly and very entertaining” – Daily Express

“Brilliant… irresistible… guaranteed to fire young imaginations and make the whole family laugh!” – Lancashire Post

“The story moves at a bristling pace and is full of irreverent humour” – South Wales Evening Post

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Hello again

31 Jan 16 


I’ve been up to all sorts this past year – a script for Fox TV, writing on the new Assassin’s Creed Syndicate, enjoying a gig as Artist in Residence at BBC Comedy, popping up on TV and radio, handing in my 400th ShortList column, and some other stuff too.

Coming up, the FX network in the States are prepping a new JOIN ME project, from the guys behind the excellent You’re The Worst.

And this year I’ll be starting a couple of secret things, a new podcast for something exciting, writing a new book for grown-ups, and releasing this… the second Hamish adventure for kids.


In this one, Hamish discovers a whole new world of people just like us… while being the complete opposite, too. I hope if you have kids they’ll enjoy it. Look out for the TV ads!

Pre-order a copy right here, and it’ll be delivered on day of release!

I’m also delighted to say that the first book’s been chosen to be read by the kids of Brighton, in their brilliant Young City Reads scheme. Can’t wait to get down there.

I love you!

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Hello Hamish!

11 Dec 14 

Sunday Times Children’s Book of the Week
#1 Children’s Fiction Debut of the Year

“Inventive, magical and rib-tickling” – The Guardian

Hamish 3D
I’m very, very, very proud to introduce you to HAMISH AND THE WORLDSTOPPERS!

“Original, quirky and super silly, Wallace has written a great book that kids will really enjoy” – The Sun

“Wallace’s vividly imagined adventure cracks along at a brisk pace. Bristling with one-liners, it has an easy, unforced humour and a strong sense of excitement. Time freezing is a neat device and Wallace uses it skilfully to make almost anything seem possible” – The Guardian

“Wallace’s first foray into children’s fiction is a joy. A hugely-entertaining, child-friendly read with characters you’ll want to root for, despicable villains, a satisfying adventure and a really big heart” – The Bookseller

“It made me laugh so much I thought my sides would burst!” – Noah, aged 9, Press Association review

“A humdinger. Wallace’s humour is put to great use and there’s enough madcap adventure with Hamish’s gang, the PDF, to keep your average 8-year-old in a state of mild hysteria.” – Dad.info

“An amazing and unexpected read… a book that will stay with you for years to come.” – Middle Grade Strikes Back

“Lest you imagine there are pauses in this book, there are few – unless you count for wheezes of laughter” – The Herald

“I was overjoyed when I heard that there’s going to be a sequel” – The Guardian

It’s my first kids’ book, and it’s out now…

Do you know a kid who’s 7? Or 8? Or 9 or 10 or 11 or 12?

Then please introduce them to Hamish…

He’s a kid who lives in Britain’s fourth-most boring town – Starkley. But Starkley gets very exciting one day, when Hamish notices that the whole world has completely and utterly stopped.

The planes in the air. The cars on the road. The people all around him.

Everything stops – except him.

It was brilliant fun imagining all the things a kid would do if all the rules had changed. And coming up with his mortal enemies – The TERRIBLES.

And great also to have the brilliant Jamie Littler illustrating Hamish’s adventure…

I’ll be all over the place at festivals in 2015, and Hamish is also coming soon to Australia, Spain, Catalonia, France, Italy, Germany, Turkey, the Czech Republic, Lithuania, Hungary, Mexico, Ukraine, Holland, Portugal and China… look out for him…

I hope your kids (you) like it! Get Hamish here!


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